Yesterday, I was talking with a friend. She once again asked me if I had met someone, which no surprise, I haven't. As I always do, I told her that I knew if I was meant to meet someone, the Lord would provide. And if not, that is great too. It can be hard to convince myself of that sometimes. I have met very few people who genuinely do not want a spouse. It seems that as humans, we have a deep desire to be known wholly and completely by someone who is never going to leave us. Someone who loves us so much that they would give up their own life to share it with us forever.
Sound familiar?
Well, I thought so too. As I pondered the fact that the reason we want a spouse is to be fully loved by someone for who we are inside and out, and is faithfully committed to us forever, I thought of God. I began to share with my friend just why I was content, or at least trying to be.
If I look back on my life, God has never failed me. Though it may seem like it at times, in reality, the reason we think God "fails" us is because He doesn't do exactly what we want when we want it.
As I'm reading through the Old Testament, it is interesting and frustrating to read about the Israelites in the wilderness. After witnessing several miracles performed by God, who is doing it all to help them escape, only three days later they begin to complain about having no food or water. Why would they complain after seeing the Lord perform plagues, provide gold and silver from the hands of the Egyptians, part the Red Sea, and ultimately deliver them from the hand of slavery they had been oppressed by for over 400 years?
In Exodus 17:7 it says that the people "tested the Lord saying, 'Is the Lord among us or not?'" when they have gone a while without water. What is interesting to note is that it is only in the previous chapter that God miraculously provides manna and quail for them. So, basically, they are asking if the Lord is truly "there" or "good" because it's been a bit too long since they had a snack--not because God hasn't proved Himself faithful countless times. It reminds me of little children who complain about "starving" to their parents only two hours after eating a four-course meal.
God never fails us, even when we fail Him. He showed abundant mercy to the Israelites by continuing to provide even when they did not trust that He would. Eventually the Israelites do have consequences for their constant complaining and lack of faith in God, but I really do not want to be like the Israelites, constantly complaining about the things that I don't have or I think have gone wrong in my life. Instead, I want to praise Him for the provision He has provided when He provides it. If we really examine our lives, I think we'll see the countless ways He has provided and been faithful to us, just like He was to the Israelites.
But that's just one reason I shared with my friend.
The other reason I shared is that He knows us even better than we know ourselves. You might be thinking, "Really? He does?" Yes, it's true! Or you may be thinking, "Yeah, yeah. I've heard it all before. I know He knows everything about me," but the mystery and wonder of it all has worn away.
Well, think about this. How often do you ask . . .
What do I want in life?
What am I passionate about?
Why do I feel this way?
Why did I just do that?
. . . and you have absolutely no idea the answers to those questions?
I think I am pretty safe in guessing that all of us often have these thoughts. Even the people who seem to have it all together and know what they want still question their motives, feelings, and pursuits at times. So, do we really know ourselves completely? I would say no. But do you know who does? God.
Scripture says that "even the hairs of your head are all numbered" by God (Luke 12:7). And He knows the number of hairs on every. single. head that has ever lived.
David wrote a psalm that describes all of the ways the Lord knows us like no one else, not even ourselves. He writes,
You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely (Psalm 139: 1-4).
So God not only perfectly knows our physical attributes, but He knows every action of our lives, every thought we have ever had, and every word we have spoken. That is a lot of things to keep track of for just one person, let alone every person who has ever existed. I can say with 100% certainty that no other human will ever know everything I've done, thought, and said. And honestly, I will never be able to remember all of those things about myself either.
David goes even deeper, though. He writes, "For you [God] created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be" (Psalm 139: 13,16).
God is our Creator, so He is the one who made our bodies, our minds, our personalities, and our souls. He knew exactly what we would do before the world was even created. How much more can someone know you than that?
Then it hit me.
God knew me before I even knew myself.
That may be an obvious point, but for some reason, the fact that God could know me before I even knew me just goes to show the powerful love of our God. He made me. Then I rebelled against Him. I did everything I could to take control of my own life and live in sin. Yet, He still called me out of sin and showed me what I was missing--abundant freedom, hope, joy, peace, and so much more by living as a child of the God of the Universe. I didn't know myself well enough to know that He had formed me for Him and His purposes, but He gave His life to show me that beautiful truth.
As God says to the prophet Jeremiah, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before you were born I set you apart" (Jeremiah 1:5). It is humbling to realize that God knows every decision we will ever make. He knows what will happen to each of us. He knows who will choose to trust in His great faithfulness and obey Him, and who will complain and grumble that God is not faithful or good.
So yes, I do not have a significant other in my life, but I am wholly and completely known by the God of the Universe.
And I can be content with that.
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