Most of the time, our feelings do not represent what is true. When I was about twelve years old, I remember sobbing to my dad because I did not feel like I loved God. The key word in that sentence is feel. My dad explained to me that love is not just the lovey-dovey feeling we all think of when we hear that word. Love is much more than just a feeling. It is obedience. It is choosing to follow God and His decrees even when we don't feel like it.
This past week, a friend of mine was struggling. One of her conversations with a person who is close to her did not go well. She told me she was afraid of talking with this person again--afraid that they might hurt her with their words. That fear was slowly seeping into her relationship with the Lord, even though she knew it shouldn't. But though she described to me this fear of God, fear that He might see her in a negative light just like this person, she told me that she had immediately gone to the word of God in response to what happened to her. She had read, prayed, and journaled through the difficult emotions and thoughts she was experiencing.
Her actions spoke far more than her feelings. Even though she felt afraid, her actions were of someone who loves the Lord. She was living in the hope of the Lord despite her emotions.
Many of us have been there before. We have felt a lack of interest in the Word. We have felt fear of being rejected by the Lord--that He will be angry with us because of our sin or just because we are human. We have felt angry at God for the circumstances in our life. But it is what we do with our feelings that really matters.
Since all of us have been here at some point in our life, questioning whether God really cares, I wanted to share with you a story I was reading this past week in Genesis.
It is the story of Hagar, the servant woman of Sarah, who was told that she would bear a son to Abraham in Sarah's place. After Hagar becomes pregnant, she despises Sarah. Sarah decides she cannot handle Hagar's wrath and mistreats her. Hagar flees from Abraham and Sarah.
Once she is in the desert, the angel of the Lord appears to her and asks, “Hagar, slave of Sarai, where have you come from, and where are you going?” to which she responds, “I’m running away from my mistress Sarai" (Genesis 16: 7-8).
Instead of responding with anger or shaming Hagar for her decision, he simply commands her to return to Sarah, submit to her, and blesses her. He promises that her descendants "will be too numerous to count” even though her son is not even the son of the covenant between God and Abraham (Genesis 16: 9-10). We know that it is Isaac who is the son of promise, the father of David and of Jesus, but God still blesses Hagar by allowing her descendants to increase as well.
In response to God's abundant grace, and the hope that only He can give her, Hagar says, “'You are the God who sees me,' for she said, 'I have now seen the One who sees me'” (Genesis 16: 13).
Hagar recognizes that God is not one of distance. He did not just create us and then decide to stand on the sidelines, as some believe. He is actively working in this world and in our lives.
It is challenging to reconcile that truth with the fact that there is evil in this world. If you have more questions about this, you can learn more from a previous blog I wrote I have linked here. If you still have more questions, I recommend reading C. S. Lewis' The Problem of Pain which goes into greater detail about reconciling evil in the world with a perfect, loving, good God who is completely in control of the universe He has created.
Even in those moments when it seems God has forgotten us and left us, He is right there with us. Every time there is distance between us, it is not because God has moved. He has always stayed the same.
The God Who Sees, a modern day oratorio by Kathie Lee Gifford and Nicole C. Mullen, is a beautiful story of our God who has seen every person we read about in the bible, every Christian we look up to around us, and ... YOU! I highly recommend you watch and listen to this beautiful piece they have written describing God's great care, love, and provision for His people.
He sees you and knows every single thing you have gone through, and He wants to hear about it from you. He wants to be there for you and comfort you. Jesus promised that in this world we would have trouble, but He has overcome the world (John 16:33).
If you feel that God could not understand the things you are being tempted with, recall Hebrews 4: 15-16 that says: "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
So, in those moments where you feel shame, run to the Father! He sees and knows it all. The Scriptures say that Jesus himself has been there before--He just didn't sin! And He wants to help us avoid sin because He knows the destruction that it brings. He cares enough to protect us from the unnecessary hurt that sin causes in our lives.
However, if it is trials, tribulations, and suffering leading you to doubt God's goodness, or simply bringing you to despair, I hope these verses from 2 Corinthians will encourage you and remind you of the goodness and compassion of our God who is close to us in our sufferings.
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ" (2 Corinthians 1: 3-5).
Though we will face suffering because of the broken world we live in, and because we have become part of the body of Christ, He promises to comfort us through those sufferings. Only a God who loves us for who we are, His creation, would be willing to comfort us each specifically and uniquely in every single one of our struggles.
So, when life feels bleak, or you feel like God is angry, disappointed, or simply distant from you, remember these truths. He saw Hagar in the wilderness. He saw Ruth, a foreigner, without the provision of a husband. He saw David running for his life, hiding in a cave from Saul. He saw the Israelites in their suffering in Egypt, Babylon, and Assyria. He has seen every single person that has ever lived. And He has seen you. Never doubt that He cares for you, wants to see you free from sin, and is there to comfort you in the midst of every hardship you will ever face in this life.
He is the God Who Sees.
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